10 Years Today

Hopefully this won’t be a long post.  I had to think pretty hard about what I was going to say in this post but I wanted to get something down just to mark the time and date.  Today would have marked the 10th Anniversary of my relationship with Jirar.  10 years today we would have been together, 10 years of sharing, of mutual giving and taking, 10 years of what I considered happy times together, certainly some of the best years of my life.  In the end, we were 4 months short of actually making it that far together.

I was a bit of an emotional wreck earlier today but then decided that I’d use the opportunity of a significant milestone gone wrong to implement new traditions and changes to my own life.  Lots of people might have spent the anniversary of a failed relationship beating themselves up asking why it just didn’t work out.  I decided not to do that to myself.  Why tear myself down over something that was not my fault?  Why should I pretend that I could have done something more?  The fact of the matter is that this turn of events in my life was not my fault and I won’t spend my life feeling guilty about it.  Yes, it does hurt that I’m in this situation now but I’ll get over it and move on with my life.  It’s summer in Leelanau and I have lots of reasons to be happy with my life.  I’m a little overwhelmed with what I have to get done this summer but oh well, it will make me a better person.

So, I will mark today as the beginning of a new period in my life rather than the end of one.  I will not allow the disappointments of my past control the happiness of my future.  I’ve been beaten down but I’ve not been beat (starting to sound like a bad movie here), watch out world….