From time to time, I will run across lengthy blog posts from other people that I think are somewhat worthy of re-posting on this blog. I’ve saved this one in my draft’s for a while now and figured that while we are still in the month of June, it would be a good idea to post it. I spend a lot of time on this blog bitching about inequality and my tone can be at times a bit on the fuck you side of things. The primary readers of this blog are sympathetic to my position on gay rights but in reality, I’m not writing this blog simply for my audience. One of the great things about this platform is that it allows me a very easy method for documenting my life, my passions, my concerns, my interests, and my opinions not just for my readers but for me. Years ago when I was in the boychoir school, when we were on tour, we were forced to keep a journal of our travels across the country. I’ve got pages and pages of prose written from the perspective of a 13 year old boy that documents and reflects on what was going on in my life at that point in my history. Looking back at them now, I think they are hysterical and just fun to read. The point is, these are my thoughts on life right now and this blog is the storyline of my life. 20 years from now when the Internet has evolved even further, I can go back to these posts and read them and gain perspective on where my life was and how my life has evolved since then. Many people keep journals of their lives, some turn them into books, others leave them in boxes for their kids to find after they pass away. This blog is my journal.
I found the list below from a post at Pam’s House Blend. It’s interesting to me because it does provide some perspective on how a GLBT person experiences life . It includes political judgements, thoughts on stereotypes and a run down of things that people who are not in my shoes tend to take for granted. The one thing I don’t like about this list is that it assumes that things are not changing. I think attitudes are changing, and they are changing rather quickly. I encounter bits and pieces of homophobia every day in my life, much of it at work and much of it as unintentional (I think) as comments about race and religion. I am not ‘out and proud’ at work even though I could be and it wouldn’t cause much of an issue. I’ve always believed that my own sexuality is not relevant to my job. I’m not getting paid to influence you on my personal life or change your opinions and attitudes towards my sexuality. I simply do not choose to discuss my personal life in much detail with my co-workers. That can make me a bit of a mystery to people but I sort of enjoy that. That is not to say however that I lie about my sexuality. If a coworker were to ask me tomorrow if I was gay, I would not lie to them. What advantage do I have in being dishonest? The fact of the matter is, my personal life is simply not relevant to my professional life. People know that, and I just don’t get asked those sorts of things at work. Anyhow, I said that because I do feel that by not actively confronting homophobia and stereotypes in conversation with random people, it perpetuates them and it allows them to continue. More and more, we are seeing people confront these inequities in more and more situations. Change is happening, even if not as fast as some would like. If you are heterosexual, think about some of these statements and how they play into your own perception of reality and daily interactions with people. I’ve highlighted the problem statments that I encounter most often and feel the most often from other people. These I feel are the most important to change so as to allow some normalcy to the GLBT community.
Here is a list called Heterosexual Privilage from a post at Pam’s House Blend:
On a daily basis as a straight person…
- I can be pretty sure that my roomate, hallmates and classmates will be comfortable with my sexual orientation.
- If I pick up a magazine, watch TV, or play music, I can be certain my sexual orientation will be represented.
- When I talk about my heterosexuality (such as in a joke or talking about my relationships), I will not be accused of pushing my sexual orientation onto others.
- I do not have to fear that if my family or friends find out about my sexual orientation there will be economic, emotional, physical or psychological consequences.
- I did not grow up with games that attack my sexual orientation (IE fag tag or smear the queer).
- I am not accused of being abused, warped or psychologically confused because of my sexual orientation.
- I can go home from most meetings, classes, and conversations without feeling excluded, fearful, attacked, isolated, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, stereotyped or feared because of my sexual orientation.
- I am never asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.
- I can be sure that my classes will require curricular materials that testify to the existence of people with my sexual orientation.
- People don’t ask why I made my choice of sexual orientation.
- People don’t ask why I made my choice to be public about my sexual orientation.
- I do not have to fear revealing my sexual orientation to friends or family. It’s assumed.
- My sexual orientation was never associated with a closet.
- People of my gender do not try to convince me to change my sexual orientation.
- I don’t have to defend my heterosexuality.
- I can easily find a religious community that will not exclude me for being heterosexual.
- I can count on finding a therapist or doctor willing and able to talk about my sexuality.
- I am guaranteed to find sex education literature for couples with my sexual orientation.
- Because of my sexual orientation, I do not need to worry that people will harass me.
- I have no need to qualify my straight identity.
- My masculinity/femininity is not challenged because of my sexual orientation.
- I am not identified by my sexual orientation.
- I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my sexual orientation will not work against me.
- If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has sexual orientation overtones.
- Whether I rent or I go to a theater, Blockbuster, an EFS or TOFS movie, I can be sure I will not have trouble finding my sexual orientation represented.
- I am guaranteed to find people of my sexual orientation represented in the Earlham curriculum, faculty, and administration.
- I can walk in public with my significant other and not have people double-take or stare.
- I can choose to not think politically about my sexual orientation.
- I do not have to worry about telling my roommate about my sexuality. It is assumed I am a heterosexual.
- I can remain oblivious of the language and culture of LGBTQ folk without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
- I can go for months without being called straight.
- I’m not grouped because of my sexual orientation.
- My individual behavior does not reflect on people who identity as heterosexual.
- In everyday conversation, the language my friends and I use generally assumes my sexual orientation. For example, sex inappropriately referring to only heterosexual sex or family meaning heterosexual relationships with kids.
- People do not assume I am experienced in sex (or that I even have it!) merely because of my sexual orientation.
- I can kiss a person of the opposite gender on the heart or in the cafeteria without being watched and stared at.
- Nobody calls me straight with maliciousness.
- People can use terms that describe my sexual orientation and mean positive things (IE “straight as an arrow”, “standing up straight” or “straightened out”) instead of demeaning terms (IE “ewww, that’s gay” or being “queer”).
- I am not asked to think about why I am straight.
- I can be open about my sexual orientation without worrying about my job.
